And Interesting Tidbit...

I was at Barnes and Noble today and then headed to the Library to return some books and pick up some new ones. I just love the smell of the library, hearing the beckoning of the books calling my name and the satisfaction of feeling these works of art in my hands, thumbing through their pages and finally making a selection that will suffice my hunger for adventure, for reality, for history, for interesting characters and for my adventure in travel.

But there was something that I read just briefly that stayed with me throughout the rest of my day.

I read the subtitle, 'Have friends replaced families?'

I remember reading it but not paying too much attention to it after the initial intake.

But realizing when I got home I was still thinking about it and as I laid in bed, I was still thinking about it.

Actually, I found it to be quite profound in thought and in question.

My initial thought to the question is a resounding yes. But then I have been having to ask why and what has changed for this to be the new found sense of community and family nucleus?

There are lots of answers to the question I'm sure but my simplistic version, as that's how I think, is that with the breakdown of families, the blending of marriages, and the enormous numbers of divorce, there is little left but with those one associates with and those one would call friends.

Also, with distance, family issues and the lack of real family connections, I think friends have definitely been placed as key roles of support, community and sense of family. Sometimes one may even dare say that one is closer to their friends than their family. There is that sense in friendship, that you can truly be yourself, share all that is in you and not feel completely judged or expectant of meeting certain sets of expectations that families do put on each of us, unbeknownst to themselves, and sometimes to the detriment of that person's make up.

In a way it's a real shame to have to answer that question that way and for it to be true. The nucleus of a family should, if at all possible, still be that place of belonging, acceptance, understanding and development/nurturing of growth and love. But unfortunately, in today's society that is not always the case. But if family is broken then the will and love of friends is a wonderful tie to have and to belong to.

Just like family or a marriage, friendships also need to come to that place of authenticity and not just be all about acceptance, but where accountability and realistic interaction of thoughts, feelings and emotions are challenging the relationship in the purest form. If it's always good, it will at some point crack and crumble and even break apart if not dealt with realistically and authentically.

So, are friends replacing families? Sure they are but not in every case. There are families that are very much intact, loving and real in their deaings with one another. Can friends be more like and replace family? They can if done in a manner that is clearly realistic.