Sometimes It's Too Much...photo by AP

I have gone through times of keeping up with the world news and then realizing it's all the same crap, the same people, the same disasters that kill, the same kinds of wars, the same idiotic stuff that man does to man, as well as nature to it's land masses. So, then I turn it off for awhile and feel much better. But then I realize I feel better because I don't have to deal with it. It's as if I can just live my life and let others live their lives and that will be that and I should be happy.

But unfortunately, turning off the news from the tv or the radio doesn't stop this ol' brain from wondering how many children have died this week, what country is struggling to provide for its people, those countries at war how many more deaths and are they nearer to a resolution? Probably not.

So, now I keep up with the news via BBC World News. It seems to give a much better and less filtered version of the news than the States.

But it is also heartbreaking to constantly hear the death tolls rise, the amount of displaced peoples increase, the number of children affected, and the urgent cry of the United Nations urging for more help than they are capable of.

Death is an interesting thing because on one hand it is this terrible loss for those who are still living, yet as time goes by the person(s) who have passed do just that pass. Those living, whether we push the death deep down or whather we have resolved ourselves of that person(s) death. But I think either way, as humans, our nature is to 'go on with life' which is what everyone says you need to do, but then it seems that we almost forget or no longer acknowledge the person(s) that died in our lives.

I'm not quite sure how to explain it but it just seems to me, and with my own little experience with death, it is pretty damn easy to forget about those who died. I'm embarrassed to admit this but it's true. Perhaps it would be different, and I hope it would if I had lost a child or a spouse, or family members. I just don't know.

But before I get myself in trouble, I'm realizing what I'm really speaking of are those who die everyday from poverty, disease, malnutrition, violence, homelessness, old age, and who die with no new person reporting their deaths. These deaths are just one more number in the human death toll.

It's just difficult for me to know that so many people of this world, die without the love of a family, of friends or a community. They simply perish without any one person identifying them as a friend, a person of their community, a father, an uncle, a sister or a mother.

Sometimes it's just too much for me to fathom and I struggle with wanting to create something for these very people. But the deaths are just too great in number and the ability to meet each of these people is unrealistic. But I hope to create something, someday for those who are nameless in death.

I don't know what it will be but I hope someday to do something so that these lives are not in vain.