Return To The Familiar...poem by kim

There comes a time when the soul must wander into new territory
Sometimes that new territory is familiar

Familiar because one has tread upon its dusty roads, slept upon its cemented floors, taken up residence with a familiar people
Familiarity as common as spoken words, tribal songs, shared life, experienced death, and danced without hesitation

When the soul finds its place of familiarity, it seeks out greater experiences than it once had before
Not because it disliked those experiences prior, but simply to be reminded why the soul has returned from time apart and why it now desires the love it has been distant from

The soul is reminded of sunrises, sunsets, windswept days, smells not so foul to them, laughter in the distance, wailing of death in the evening air, footprints going and returning from the village market, rickety buses expanded by the life of chickens, the freshness of fruits, the wreaking of sweat, the loudness of the roaring engine, the crampness of lives touching so closely and so familiar.

Music is universal and so too is a rhythmic soul
Clapping, smiling, laughing, drums beating, the circle of life unbreakable, children observing their elders,
dogs barking in unison, the earth moving in joyous sound and thunderous movement

There comes a time when the soul will experience far more than it can handle
Though laughter is present, so too is the reality of life so limited, sometimes so harsh, and death is inevitable, regardless where the soul wanders

But what shame that the soul must experience death in a manner that is victimizing, rampant, a terrorist among
the throng of people
It is a means to an end with no real understanding of its purpose
Mothers, fathers, aunt, uncles, grandparents and children will see the end of their lives
Greater number of mothers and fathers will lose their lives early
Grandparents will be left with the children to raise unless they too leave this earth before the children have had
time to grow up in life
The children will wonder what will become of them if all have left them, with nothing to help carry them to their future

Oh, the children...The future without AIDS
Their lives so innocent, so refreshingly alive, and yet what will become of them
Who will dry their tears, who will comfort them during a thunderstorm, who will embrace them when their soul is weary
What will become of them
Does anybody know
Does anybody care

Sometimes the soul must wander into new territory
Sometimes that new territory is familiar
It is the soul that will find a way to help these people to help themselves in living a better life
It is the soul that will need to teach, educate, demonstrate, implement ways that they, the children, the grandparents, those left behind and not afflicted by the enemy of AIDS
It is the soul that must find ways to deplete the destruction of AIDS to so many
and yet other enemies will come calling though they are not welcomed, though they may be familiar

What greater value is there of one's future, the children, as they carry on with the traditions, the culture, the language, the stories, the history
So it must be said that the familiar ways the very soul has interpreted is as their own people, their own families, their own sisters, brothers, aunt, uncles, grandparents, their own likeness yet a world and many miles away from their own

Though the soul is strong in many ways, it simply cannot take on all that is before it, without the asking of other hands, hearts, prayers and resources
The soul is weak without these others
The soul will simply crumble among the monstrosity of the familiar and the enemies
The familiar desires the soul but not for the price of its death, whether in spirit, money, government or in body
The familiar relishes the love and the embracing from the soul in whatever regard

Familiarity is spiritual, is worthy, is appreciative, is a presence so unlike something the soul could ever experience and forget

There comes a time when the soul must wander into new territory
Sometimes that new territory is familiar
The soul asks nothing more than the familiar

Suppose to Rain Tomorrow...Will it?

Fall has not really come forth to Chico just yet. It seems to be taking it's time and choosing the Indian Summer to remain as long possible. I do like Indian Summer, but I'd prefer fall.

So, the ol' weatherman says it's going to rain tomorrow in Chico. I sure hopes so. It would just clear things out, make things look greener, make the air smell delicious with Fall and my mind will be tricked in getting out my warm and cozy blankets, sweats, sweatshirts and slippers.

But it's still suppose to be in the low/mid 80's even the day after the rain tomorrow. What is up with that?

But my true excitement comes when winter hits. Oh, how I love winter. It's the smell, the rains, the cold air, the constant rains, the fog, the loss of leaves, the air of holidays to come.

Winter is so comforting to me. Perhaps it speaks to my melancholy spirit but it also lifts me up to no end.

I'm sure I'm one of very few who deal well with winter. And I'm sorry for those who really struggle with it. I suppose summer is much like to me as winter is to others. Truly.

Particularly summers in Chico. It's just too D..... hot and we don't' have central heat and air. So i feel like I suffer greatly. But oh, poor me. Good grief!

Will it rain tomorrow? That's really my question and my request.

Whatever Happens to You

The Didache

My child, flee from all evil and from everything resembling it. Do not get angry, for anger leads to murder. My child, do not grumble, for this leads to blasphemy; be gentle-minded, for those of a gentle mind shall possess the earth. Be patient and have a loving heart.

Do not be one who stretches out his hands to receive but closes them when it comes to giving. If you have earned something by the work of your hands, pass it on as a ransom for your sins. Do not turn away from those who are in need, but share all things in common with your brother.

Your heart shall not cling to the high and mighty, but turn to the good and humble folk. Accept as good whatever happens to you or affects you, knowing that nothing happens without God.

Source: "The Early Christians," ed. by Eberhard Arnold

The Sounds of Life...poem by kim

Listen here.

Still your footsteps for one moment.

Stop your breathing for the moment so as not to interfere with the other sounds of life.

Do you hear the water trickle from the stream, as it makes it way around twigs and pebbles?

Close your eyes to catch the sounds of a butterfly flitter from one flower to the next.

Still your heart to the beat of drumming tribes.

Halt your mind from whizzing by this way or that way.

Open your mind to the sounds of a child being born this very moment.

Tune your ears to the wind as it whispers gently across the face of a parent working in the fields.

Slow your hands so they hear the footsteps of your child running into your arms.

Calm your spirit as it wonders what all the noise is about.

Whisper to your spirit that the sounds of life are to lift you away to places unknown.

Whisper to the spirits of others that you have come to enjoy the sounds of their lives.

Speak deeply to your soul so that it may be comforted by the aching cries within you.

Call to jesus that his spirit will free you to venture to sounds of the lives of others.

Listen here.

Come my way to be quieted and given peace of the sounds of your life.

Listen here.

Plant your footsteps in my path that will halt the sounds of your fears.

Listen here.

Abide here.

The Depth of This Soul...

The depth of this soul wants more than anything to get beyond the craziness of life, as I know it in suburbia and wealthy america.

The depth of this soul seeks groundbreaking, heartbreaking, hands-on purpose for this life that has been given to me freely, simply and purposefully. But now that I've fulfilled the purpose of my enjoying the extravagance of my wealthy life, I am ready to give up all that I have for the experience of looking into the eyes of children who are having to survive a life of extreme poverty. America truly has it's share, and I too want to experience this, but with as wealthy a country as ours, there really is simply no need or justification for such conditions to exist.

But to look to poorer countries it too is astonishing that they allow such conditions. But some how it seems easier to not blame them, their government, their agencies for their lack of programs, the lack of looking ahead, instead of the present situations. Perhaps it is because they are poor economically, that survival exists only for the present, not the future in their minds. Perhaps also because they know that wealthier countries will come bearing aid in every shape or form. I'm confused by what they expect and what they aspire to in their lands and simply waiting for the help to come is unfortunately, indicative of an unhealthy governmental system throughout. Like America isn't unhealthy! Yeah, right.

Anyways, the depth of this soul desires to jump ship for awhile and see how the other side of the world lives. I have malnutrition embedded in my brain, I have children's faces flash in and out of my mind, throughout the day, I have the urge to scream for resources and money from those in my life so that I can get to where I need to be...holding the fragile body of a child, whose parent(s) have passed from HIV/AIDS and whose own body is withering away from poverty, infection, malnutrition.

In my dreams I have seen myself holding me. I know that sounds weird. But there are photos of me when I was an infant, in the Vietnamese orphanage, with my stomach distended, my limbs extremely thin, and my body struggling for survival. It's as if I am holding myself, or jesus or some other child whose name I do not know.

The depth of my soul yearns for such an experience, not just once but for the rest of my lifetime.

If we can not feed the depth of our souls then why acknowledge our souls at all.

Jesus, Please....

Jesus, please...Grant me my wish to see, taste and experience this ravaged world that I live in. I plea with you to give me the opportunity to travel to not just one country, one village or one refugee camp, but to many countries and many, many villages and refugee camps where I can hold the hands of children, see the stories in their eyes, smile for those who have no reason to smile, to hear the sound of laughter because that helps get them through a part of their day.

Jesus, I plea with you to grant me the time, the money and the resources to go and visit these children I speak of, your children.
Please, Jesus, please.

I don't think I have wanted or desired anything more in my life than to be among your children in every condition imaginable.

I again, ask of you this request that comes from the deepest, most precious area of my soul.

Jesus, please.....again, here is the prayer you so simply gave to me one day in a past writing. I believe it speaks with great volume of my heart and my desires. No, we are not able to have our own children I understand more than I'd like to know, and yes, adoption is still a possibility, but if nothing else, I ask and pray for you, your will to give me the desire of my heart to place my feet on the many lands of these children all over the world. I then will understand that these children will be called our own. Jesus, please....

Aching heart your fears are valid
Aching couple your desires have been heard

Do as you are asked to do and I will grant you with my ultimate joy and peace
It may not look like what you had in mind, but bear with me as I continue to work in you both

Your hearts will be enflamed with children from many worlds, many places and backgrounds
Your hearts will take hold of such faces, such conditions that will feel like they are your own

These children are your own, in a way that you will forever change the path of their lives
These children are your own, in a way that will fulfill you like no other

Continue to wait for me
Continue to follow me
Continue to have faith in me
Continue on the path I have called you to and you will be given your hearts' desires

Know it's my timing, not yours
Know I relish you both in ways that make me proud
Know that I have plans for you and the ones that you love, whether they are yours or anothers'

I'm listening
I'm here
I'm all that you need

Not Just One Village or Country...photo by helen caux

I have had much time to think about what it is I truly want to do with my life and what possibilities are out there for me to do and take on.

It is with great urgency and my heart's cry that I not work with just one village or one country but to be able to fully understand the impact of the world's children in all reaches of our vast land.

I realize that there are so many of these children that I so desire to meet face to face and to find a way to say, you will be okay, somehow.

There are millions upon millions of refugee children and their families in Afghanistan, in Pakistan, in Cambodia, in India, in Africa, in Haiti, in Columbia, etc and all of these children either have their families or they are alone in a refugee camp, hoping one day to find their parents and rest of families. More often then not, much of these refugees have to move from one camp to another, with miles upon miles between each camp. Not only with out food, water or supplies, but the terrible danger of being killed, raped or bought into slavery. Or worse, taken their identification paperwork, that they had received at the last refugee camp. Without these papers, they can not prove who they are and where they came from. This is worse than being in a refugee camp. Because you are left to fend for yourself and prone to being prey to the Taliban, the paramilitary or the Bandistas or simply death's door called survival.

But in the end, it's all about the children, as they are the future of our nations, whom we are neighbors with, whether we like it or not. And because of the pandemic of the world's conditions from drought, war, to starvation, to HIV/AIDS and threatening diseases, these children need the help of all nations so that we can help them out of their dire conditions. So they can be the rulers and the movers and shakers of the next generation, and in hopes that it will be a better world than they have come to know.

I am not interested in just one village or country as I've stated but to be in the middle of seeing all children receive what they need in order to survive their current and future conditions.

This is my life's challenge and I will continue to seek out ways to be in the middle of it all.

There is no reason for me to live this comfortable life when others struggle for just the basic necessities of life.

I've lived, I've enjoyed and now it is time to give back all that I've been gifted so as not to live my life in vain.

Touched By Your Lives....photo by cara pattison

I've seen your faces over and over.

I've spoken to you in my dreams, putting my hands in yours.

In my dreams I've laughed with you, cried with you, listened to your horror stories of your country, your families, yourself.

I've been shown the scars of life in each of your stories.

You've shown me the hope of today, yet the worries of your tomorrows are not far behind.

If only I could personally meet you face to face, instead of through the photos and the stories others tell of you.

Seeing the image of your faces is engraved in my mind, yet I have no idea who each of you are.

Will I ever be able to truly hold you in my arms?

Will I ever be able to take in your sweet smell of childhood?

I still hope for that day when my feet will step upon your land and search for you by name, by village.

As you can see, I've been touched by your very lives.

Angelina Jolie...Now, Samantha Smith...Then

Angelina Jolie is an Ambassador to Refugees through the UN. She is working hard and making news around the world. What I would give to work alongside her and among those she has been sent to by the United Nations.

I've always wanted to be an ambassador like those I've read about for so many years.

I remember in the very early 80's there was a young girl, about 10 maybe, who had written a letter to Soviet president Yuri Andropov about wanting peace on earth to the people of his country and the world.

This letter got wind and she instantly was granted as a Young Ambassador to the Soviet Union.

I remember thinking how wonderful and brave she was to have dared to write such a letter to such a big leader of the day.

Only 10 and shaking things up...what a hero.

I envied her and yet she unfortunately died a year or two later. Cause of death was a plane crash with she and her father.

Here name was Samantha Smith. I do remember the impact she had made on the world and in my life.

It's people like her who dare to dream and dare to make a difference in the only way they know how...through their voice.

I've learned a lot and have admired this child then and still in death.

A legacy she has left this world and to me also.

Where ever you may be...know that you truly made an incredible and brave impact on a world that was and is still at war with others.

May the peace you had dreamed about one day come true and be realized before the world comes to its end.

Oh, To Be Mother Teresa...photo by AP

For as long as I can remember, I have always admired, called her one of my heros and have wanted to be her in some form or another. Even if only to be her sidekick, like Lucy and Ethel but doing good for others.

I've had dreams of working along side her in many capacities in which she spoke little to me but smiled that brought an understanding to me that I was where I was supposed to be, near her side, helping her in the work she was called to do, working with the poor.

I have dreamt that dream many a times, and awoke sad that is wasn't true.

I would be wearing a simple beige, heavy cotton sack, with a simple, brown belt, loosely tied about my waist, and simple sandals that could have looked like what Jesus would have worn on his many journeys.

My hair was cut short, as to not get in the way of my work, nor to show any sort of vanity.

And I would pray daily with the other sisters of the order and then be on my way to meet Mother Teresa, where ever she had spoken me to meet her the day prior.

Oh, to awake and realize it was just a dream, albeit a mighty dream, that would never come true. But I recall how I felt, how things smelled and how I adored what I was doing, working with the poorest of the poor, along side the greatest and humblest woman on earth.

How fortunate was I!

Perhaps parts of the dream could come true someday. And I do hopes so somehow. I would love to be working in India, among the poorest of the poor, holding on to, rocking and caring for those who have nothing but their very souls.

Oh, to be embracing and living among the lepers would have been a dream come true.

And to pray over and for all of those very souls that they would find peace and joy in their situation.

Oh, to be a saint like Mother Teresa would be a dream come true.

Sainthood in the depth of working hands on, not as far as position of my soul.

Thank you, Mother Teresa, for setting such an incredible example of who we are called to be, workers of jesus and the voice of those who have no voice.

I hope to meet you truly in heaven one day....

A Letter Of Plea From Mother Teresa...photo by AP

This letter that Mother Teresa wrote was to President George Bush and Saddam Hussein in the hopes of dissuading them from going to war. Obviously, her letter didn't have the desired affect.

"I write to you with tears in my eyes and with the love of God in my heart, to beg you on behalf of the poor and on behalf of those who will end up being poor in the event that the war which threatens us is unchained.

I beg you with all my heart that you spare no efforts in favor of the peace of God and to reconcile yourselves with one another.

Each one of you has concerns enough and citizens enough to keep you busy, but first begin by hearing the One who came to the world to teach us peace.

You have the capacity and force to destroy the presence and image of God, in his men, in his women, and in his children.

Listen, please, to the voice of God.

God has created us to love each other with his love and not to destroy ourselves with our hates."

This letter was taken from Mother Teresa - Her Life, Her Work, Her Message - A Memoir by Jose Gonzalez-Balado

Hope Is Present In The Quiet Of The African Night...poem by kim

The wisp of the netting contains one in it's sheath, providing protection from the life beyond the threads of the thin cloth. 

The native wanderers wait for just the right moment to come forth, entering the present of the night.

The settling of the earth is warm from the day's heat, yet welcomes the cool of the night

The cloudless african sky glitters with the life of the stars beyond, illuminated simply by the light of the moon.

The quiet of the african night lays claim to the souls that have settled in for an evening of sleep, of rest and a stillness unlike the day.

The night lends itself to the rhythm of the very souls breathing, as the dreams in their heads lay simple and pleasant joys wanting and remembered from long ago.

The quiet of the african night freshens the weary souls whose lives find each day more challenging than the next.

In the quiet of the african night, a sense of hope still prevails before the golden sun rises in the East, leaving the calm of sleep in the eyes of one awaking to the light of day. 

Hope can remain in the quiet of the african night.

Hope must remain in the quiet of the african night.

But hope must also push through the quiet of the african night, to the rays of the dawning day. So that the very souls have more than sorrow and hopelessness to rise above from.

Hope is present in the quiet of the african night, but may that same hope be present in the light of day, every day. Not just in the night.

painting by mo osmon

I Want To End World Poverty....

There are so many issues on my heart that it is hard to know which to really just settle in and run with.

But there is no doubt that World Poverty is one of my greatest hearts' desires. And it should be as I was abandoned as an infant, without food, malnourished. But I was saved, sheltered and given food, love and a family. There are so many people and children who have some or none of the above.

I struggle with knowing this as I live freely and in great wealth. But what would be worse is if I did absolutely nothing to help in relieving this world-wide pandemic.

I'm a dreamer but being a dreamer and being an active dreamer are two different things.

Being complacent and letting other folks do the campaigning, the work, etc. is not my style and I look forward to getting my hands dirty in the middle of the action. I do best getting dirty and involving myself deeply.

There are things I'm questioning right now, but no matter, there is no need to stop doing what I'm doing, in order to regain my perspective. I've chosen to push on and still do what I can despite my questions.

I know as one person, I am unable to end world poverty, but I can make a difference in some way or another, if I am willing...

Heading in the Right Direction?

I've been wondering lately if we are heading in the right direction in life.

I've wondered if my 'sense' of what god wanted from us was even a reality, or just my own reasoning to move on and do something seemingly important and life-giving, rather than self-serving.

I'm even questioning whether we really can have a 'sense' of what god desires of us. If it's not a sense then what is it? It just seems so real and communicative that there seems no way for it to be anything but that.

I'm not really sure why I'm questioning all of this but it just has been in the back of my mind that I can't seem to help but question it all.

The question of faith and belief are at the heart of this question for me.

Explainable?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Where do I begin?

Where does it all end?

For whom does this only become reality for?

Me?

Only others?

Many?

None?

We've Postponed Our Move to Portland...

Okay, so it would seem weird to say you're leaving one moment and then having to turn around and say you're staying. I thought I'd feel strange having to share this with everyone. But in fact, it doesn't faze me.

The need to make our decision was extremely important. Michael was literally killing himself with having to continue working and figuring out our financial and house situation before we could move. The work kept coming, the financial was headache breaking and the house stuff was going no where. So, we needed to reassess where things were going and change gears.

We don't know what the timeline looks like in terms of moving to Portland, but it will be dependent on the house. Whether we can sell it, or get a renter.

I know there are so many friends and family that are thrilled that we have postponed, though it only prolongs the agony of our leave, but more time is better than no time.

So, more adventures and memories in Chico until the day we head else where!

Can't Sleep...

I went to bed to read a little bit before shutting my ol' eyes for sleep heaven. But to no avail, I still was reading, and enjoying my book. About the Children's Blizzard of 1887-1888. It is called the children's blizzard, because it was when most of the children of the Northern most prairie zones of America were heading to school, as it had been the first warm day in their winter season. So, not only husbands, wives and livestock were out on this beautiful day, but thousands upon thousands of children were out and about as well. But I haven't actually gotten to the blizzard day, just about there though. Regardless, this book is so interesting, historical and poignant.

My husband came in to check on me, to see if I had fallen asleep reading, and to turn my light off for me. But I was still awake, which was rare for me. Normally, I'm in snoozeville and have no idea he even came in to kiss me good night again. But tonight I got hug and kiss him again. Yeah for me! But boohoo for not sleeping. When Michael left the room, I thought I'd fall asleep soon after, but found I was not sleepy at all. So I picked up the book again to begin where I left off. But this proved useless, as my mind was whirling a mile a minute at this point. So, here I am writing cause I can't sleep.

I'm thinking about our upcoming Tahoe weekend with close friends. Michael turned 40 this August and he is not much for big bashes, and since I know him so well, I asked him what he'd like to do for his big 4.0. I had suggested renting a cabin and having some friends to hang with. He loved this idea - for one, Tahoe is 'our' place to runaway. Secondly, a cabin with just friends? That was ideal for him. So, I look forward to getting things together for this weekend to come. We are going to party in style! But most of all just catch up and enjoy some of our closest friends, in Tahoe no less!

I'm also thinking about all the things I want to get rid of in our house. Sell our piano, sell our big tv, go through all our books and pare down, also our cd's, clean up/out my side of the office. It is still a mess from the last time I had cleaned it, and then went to look for something and began pulling things out left and right and never returning things back to where I had initially organized them to be. Pure laziness on my part. And thinking I'd get to it manana. But tomorrow came and went and it still looks the same. Blecch!

Then there is the is the Bola Moyo fundraising we're about to embark on with Dustin and Cara in a few weeks, and I have things I need to do, and maybe art to do for it and things to think through so it is good and not shoddy.

And then there are the thoughts about my two nephews, one 24 and the other 15, who both struggle with deep depression. The oldest one is Bipolar and the younger just found out this year that he is severely depressed. But how proud I am of both of them for talking about their illness with me, and other family members. And particularly the younger one is writing poetry and helping me to see what he sees of himself and feels within himself. the Darkness that plagues him daily. He is not a typical candidate of someone with severe depression per his doctors, therapists and others in the medical profession. And I can see for myself that he is not a typical candidate. Perhaps in age, but not in manner or intellect. He is reading fervently about his illness and trying to find a way to understand it better, intelligently and to be sure to have open communication about. He has a greater chance at overcoming this illness than someone of his age and illness not doing these things. He is aware of this is desires to get better and to sustain a healthy life as he gets older. I am so proud of him. And I also know that if my older nephew had not been diagnosed prior to him, he would not be fairing as well as he is. So I am thankful for what has taken place despite the immense pain and struggles these two have had to endure and will continue to endure for some time. I know my parents have been instrumental in the well-being of my older nephew. They were and continue to be there for him during this time in his life. Encouraging him in every way necessary. And because of this, I believe he has been instrumental in helping my younger nephew to get through this time not alone. Explaining what happens, what may happen, what will happen, how one may feel in various stages, etc. This has been wonderful for the younger one. Thank goodness!
I believe they both will be able to work through this illness and be able to feel healthy and alive again. It may and will take time but I know and believe it will be done.

Okay, so now that I've gotten all the things out of my head, that had prevented me from sleeping, I guess it is time for me to try returning to bed and falling under the sleep spell. Let's hope it works. Otherwise, I guess I will be reading until the wee hours. And napping tomorrow.

Good night!

40 and So Young Looking...

Posted by: kimthanh

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, MY HUNNA!!

The card he just had taken out of the envelope sounds an obnoxious siren when opened. Letting everyone know that he has waaaaay too many candles to blow out and the poor firemen had to come out to put the ol' fire out.

Of course, I am the one who gave him this card and embarrassed him. Hey, that's what a wife is suppose to do, right? RIGHT! = )

Anyways, he gets two parties this year...

Just to be sure I posted a picture of the cute and very young-looking 40 year old so he wouldn't forget what he looked like at this age. Heh!

He still gets carded...Imagine that!

Ashes, Dust, Life...poem by kim

Life begins with a breath
Exhale
Inhale
Draw in what you need

Life plays out individually
Some share tall tales
Some share interesting tales
Others will share sad tales
More will no longer have a tale to tell

Life ends for each of us
Some unexpectedly
Some with celebration
She with terror
He with weakness
They with understanding
The little one unknowing

Life means something different for each of us
It was exuberant
It was interesting
It was nonexistent
Others it meant little
Others it was colorful

Life is a different color to each of us
Some saw red
Some saw African sky orange
She saw the purple of old age
He saw the yellow of a cornfield
They saw the grey of a gun barrel

Some say life and death are really the same
I used to not fathom such talk
But now I see how it could be
Life is fullness
Death is having had the fullness of life
And to remain fulfilling even past death

How could that be one may ask
I don't pretend to know
But if life is living, death is dying
then passing on must lead you to somewhere or something
Yes?
No?
I don't know...

Life
Death
Ashes
Dust
Still alive and with fullness
You, me us, they, them
Scatter where we long to return

To the sea
To the mountains
To a loved one
To home, wherever that may be
or in whom it may be

Constant Gardner...more than just a movie

We took in the 4:20 p.m. showing of Constant Gardner. I kept thinking this was going to be the new Bill Murray movie, though it had been told to me that that movie was only playing at the Paradise theatre. Duh. Anyways, I was told last night that I should look online to find out about the Constant Gardner. I am soooo glad I didn't. I went in seeing the movie with no expectations and came out with a heart filled with awe, a greater desire and fully entertained in a very creative manner.

I could see this being an Oscar or Cannes Film Winner if not favorite. I had to remind myself that this was a UK film, not an American film using British actors. Excellent movie! I wouldn't mind having a copy of this movie for myself.

It is so strange, I used to think it weird that people would make copies or buy copies of a movie they had just seen. I could not figure why one would want to see a movie AGAIN, much less twenty times or more. But then I guess I've finally gotten on the band wagon and have found myself asking for movies that I have enjoyed immensely. Though I'd say I'm probably more selective than most movie buffs. And I can't even call myself a movie buff. We rarely see movies, but when we do, it seems we see some really great ones. Okay, maybe Elf and Meet the Fockers don't count on the 'really good' scale, but they did have entertainment value for me, at least.

The other movie that I wouldn't mind owning is Motorcycle Diaries. Most movies I enjoy have the element of poignant human experiences.

I know there are thousands of movies out there that I have yet to see and can never remember what they are except when i enter a video store, wishing I could take every single one I find. And then bring them home and have a month-long marathon of movies of others' experiences. But that never seems to work out, and then I feel guilty about wasting time in front of a tv, when there is plenty of other things that need to get done.

That's why I don't watch tv during the day time. It just seems like a waste of time. I think I just need to get over this stupid guilt thing.

After Katrina occurred, I kept wondering why tv and radio were playing up-beat things, and not continuously talking about the victims and the horrific situation our countrymen/women/children found themselves in Katrina's aftermath.

But then I realized we are a country and perhaps a world, where when disaster occurs, there is still 'everyday' life that goes on for those who have not been fully affected by whatever disaster took place. It's as if we need something to distract ourselves of the reality of any given situation.

In one way I am appalled by this behavior, but it's apparently typical. But then again, I can understand perhaps the need for diverting our attention on a comedy, a drama a sports game, a thriller, an action-packed picture so that we still realize we are okay, that life apparently does go on, even in the midst of a horrible disaster.

But when I think worldwide, everyday there is some abominable situation that takes place every minute of every day. Raping, a murder, a bombing, poverty, starvation, a drought, HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, raiding of villages, prostitution, slavery, onslaught of some form of terror.

And though the U.S. definitely has its share of murder, homicides, rapes, killings, slavery, prostitution, and poverty, it is still difficult for me to not see the graveness of third world countries who know what struggling truly means. Not that people in America don't, and I don't proceed to negate our grave conditions, BUT the difference is that we are an extremely wealthy, thought stupid country who should be taking better care of our people. But power and money have made us just as corrupt as any third world nation, struggling with similar but even more horrific and catastrophic situations on a daily basis.

So to be sitting in front of a theatre screen or the tube, it's not far away from me the images, of across the world, and even in my own back yard, the struggles of humanity. How very sad it is and I have to work at not letting it get to me. It's difficult though.

So, as I mentioned, I see the need for an entertainment value in our lives so that we can be reminded that we are okay. History shows during wars, during Hiroshima, during the Holocaust, during the San Francisco fires, during the Loma Prieta earthquake, during 9/11, during the Tsunami and more recently during hurricane Katrina, we needed some form of entertainment value to get us through it all. BUT it sucks to know that I am okay, when a child in Sao Paulo, in Vietnam, in India, in Iran, in Africa are just one breath away from their own deaths. But it is the reality of things and I am only one person who is striving to put my passions in to action, by getting involved.

What are you doing to get involved in the fate of our humanity, at home or across the world?

Don't just sit there. Don't be complacent, and don't be socially unaware or without action.

www.one.org
www.data.org
www.amnesty.org
www.care.org
www.un.org
www.who.int/en
www.mercycorps.org
www.oxfam.org
www.savethechildren.org
www.usaid.gov
www.doctorswithoutborders.org
www.idealist.org
www.globalexchange.org
www.heiferinternational.org
www.undp.org
www.nelsonmandela.org
www.46664.tiscali.com
www.globalaidsalliance.org
www.unaids.org
www.worldbank.org/poverty
www.pactworld.org
www.redcross.org
www.salvationarmy.org
www.globalvolunteer.org

Will It Never End?

Posted by: kimthanh

This image is so powerful and yet the reality of HIV/AIDS.

How many years will it take for it to finally just be another part of history, and there to be no more suffering and deaths of children, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles?

Oh I wish I knew...

But I know I can't just sit idly by and let it happen without some form of action from myself.

I don't want to look back on my life and see that there were things that I could have done to help alleviate pain and suffering of others, but I felt just too much guilt and too much responsibility that it immobilized me to take any form of action.

I wish never to be thought of that way. Nor go to my death under the notion that I could have tried to do something, though it may not have saved the world, but if I could have held the life of one dying, comforted the parent of the child dying or cared for the children whose parent is dying or even fed a cup of water to a thirsty and dehydrated person, that would suffice for me the only need of existence of my life. I would have to be kidding myself if I said that I wished I had done more to 'save' a whole nation, an entire village, a group of children, but as I live my life today, I only need to know that I more than striving to do something, I am literally getting my hands dirty in some tangible way that is one on one with another in need.

Let not this image continue to be the future representation of these nations in need. Let there be restoration in these lives so that the future of these countries can and will prosper with integrity.