It's True, We Are Moving!

Posted by: kimthanh

Wow! It's really become a reality. We are moving to Portland, Oregon.

We are helping to start up a non-profit with our friends, Dustin and Cara called Bola Moyo (bowl-la moy-yo). it literally means "Better Life" which is what we are striving to give to the people of Malawi, Africa, particularly the children who are the future of their country.
We are thrilled to be doing this non-profit alongside Dustin and Cara, and look forward to seeing the harvest of our hard work as time goes by. But for now we are working on getting things together for the benefit concert that will be our fundraiser for folks in the Bay Area and Southern California. It's going to be interesting, a learning experience and I'm sure beneficial in so many ways.
But until then Michael and I have a lot to take care of like finding a renter for our house, packing, keep working on work and Bola Moyo stuff, visit families and friends, etc. Whew! It's going to be a hairy few months for us! So, by the looks of our schedule, it looks like we will be moving up some time in mid-late October. So, yea, I guess the reality of this move for us has really come to mind. It's going to be fantastic, fun and exciting, yet difficult to leave family and friends behind. It's always hard to be the ones saying goodbye because others feel you are leaving them behind. And then when it comes time to visit everyone, it gets to be a bit tricky. But with Bola Moyo's flexible schedule, we should be able to take enough time off to see everyone! Let's hope so!
As far as money, income. we still don't know what will come of that but we know that we will be taken care of somehow, some way. We will be looking for part-time jobs when we finally settle into Portland.

Here we go...we just never wanted to say we 'should have' or 'what if' that is why we are taking this time in our lives to do what we are both passion about - loving others.

Missing Out : photo by andy van den eynde

Posted by: kimthanh

As I was sitting in our arm chair, I was enjoying the scene playing before me. Michael was helping our 12 yr old cousin, Alea, with her homework in math.

First off, Michael enjoys math and all of its abstract notions. I detest it with a vengeance. Secondly, I was enjoying the way the two were interacting wtih one another and the way Alea was comfortable snuggled up next to him, while he explained in the simplest terms of the particular math problems. Thirdly, Michael has such patience and a way of explaining things in more than one way no matter the subject matter. And lastly, to see him so naturally and calmly helping Alea, explaining away, and patiently waiting until she seemed to be getting it just brought to mind a twinge of pain to me, while at the same time enjoying what I was observing.

The remembered pain was the knowledge that we have yet to have children of any age, in any form. It's painful as I know how wonderful a father, a dad, a parent and a member of the married team Michael would be in raising, caring for and teaching what children we hoped to have had. It just kills me to see the emptiness within each of us in this area. It was difficult for me because I haven't had this pain come up in quite awhile until just the other day.

It hurt, it was a reminder, causes me to wonder if we ever will be given a child of our own, at this point, whether through the fostering system or through adoption. I wasn't as angry about it as I have been in the past, and that's growth for me. But the pain is still not far below the surface and becomes easily raw.

I pray and hope for a child(ren) for us, but also know that we are on a path toward new adventures due to our passions, and in what god is calling us to be doing, with our lives, at this time. For this we will continue to follow through and find joy and peace through it all, but I don't know if we will ever get beyond the desires nor the immense passion to have one of our very own.

I just feel like we've been missing out on the joys of parenthood and the parenthood circle that one automatically becomes a member of, by the presence of a child, in ones household. It really SUCKS!!!

All I know so far is that it could still be a possibility in our life time to have this amazing experience. But I do wonder if it will ever really be granted to us. I continue to pray about this out of a sense of selfishness so that my desire will be continuously heard, assuming god doesn't already know of this desire in us. BUT it seems it can't hurt to keep voicing it no matter.

I continue to believe that part of our passions for our adventures also contains the work of helping, meeting with, holding, caring for and lovingly embracing children in what ever way we can that will somehow help fulfill that voided area. And to believe with that it will be enough for now.

But I don't know that we will ever not get over the feeling of missing out on the privileged experience of having ones own child.

Aching heart your fears are valid
Aching couple your desires have been heard

Do as you are asked to do and I will grant you with my ultimate joy and peace
It may not look like what you had in mind, but bear with me as I continue to work in you both

Your hearts will be enflamed with children from many worlds, many places and backgrounds
Your hearts will take hold of such faces, such conditions that will feel like they are your own

These children are your own, in a way that you will forever change the path of their lives
These children are your own, in a way that will fulfill you like no other

Continue to wait for me
Continue to follow me
Continue to have faith in me
Continue on the path I have called you to and you will be given your hearts' desires

Know it's my timing, not yours
Know I relish you both in ways that make me proud
Know that I have plans for you and the ones that you love, whether they are yours or anothers'

I'm listening
I'm here
I'm all that you need

Simple Beauty: photo by kim

Posted by: kimthanh

This photo was taken off of Hwy 70 toward Quincey on one of Don, Michael's and my adventures in driving and photo shoots.

I love the simplicity and how imperfect this photo is to anyone viewing it.

I could have waited more patiently until the moth completely spread its wings and rested on the rock, but it seemed too silly to me to wait, when I realized how fast life passes us by. Meaning, to wait and get the perfect position for the picture is like waiting for the right time for various things in life, when even a mere split second can have as much beauty, meaning and memories as waiting for just the right timing.

Simply enjoying one second to the next can add up to a hell of a lot of amazing treasures and stories to tell to one another and in the future.

Simple beauty is truly something to relish in this chaotic and dysfunctional world.

This picture is not worth a thousand words...photo by kim

Posted by: kimthanh

It is simply one word - FRIENDSHIP - in the best possible sense.

We Love You, Don!

The Three Peas In A Pod...self portrait

Posted by: kimthanh

Our vapors have surfaced among one another though the deepest emotions still remain unspoken.

The years have been kind to each of us as laughter, always food, fun, techie talk and ages have consumed our time and our hearts together.

Ritual, spontaneity, celebrations, families, and history and god have brought us not by chance but many reasons, too many to tell.

We danced, we've traveled, we've had adventures and misadventures, many a late night dinners, many hours talking together, many years together and apart.

We just came back together over five years ago and now we are parting once again.

Parting is such sweet sorrow when I think of the kind of brother, and amazing friend that we, Michael and I have been blessed with, in our friendship with Donny, Donald, and just plain Don.

The sorrow is forever deep, but the love and comfort of our endearing love for one another remains infinite.

We have new adventures, new misadventures and new things to explore and experience together as the years continue to be kind to us.

Our brother, Don, whom we so love and will surely miss our regular dinners together and our hanging out time.

But all is not lost nor forgotten when our friendship is as deep as it is.

We love you, Don!!!!

Thank you for loving us the way you always have.

Tampon run to seeing you live through one of the hardests and most difficult phases of your life-your illness.

Nothing will separate the three of us peas in a pod!!!

With the Greatest of Love to you- our brother, our friend!

Kim and Michael

A Good Winker: photo by kim

Posted by: kimthanh

Big D was showing me how good a winker he was and wanted me to take a photo of it.

It's been so much fun to see Big D growing up and showing me and the rest of our family all of his little and big antics, his amazing talents, his sweetness and his sharp little mind.

But now if only we could get him to actually sleep come naptime like Little D, his brother.

But I think he's always got too much going on in his mind to settle in for sleep time. I think he'd rather be talking incessantly, asking his curious questions and giving his advice in the little life he has lived so far.

I so love ALL of my nieces and nephews. They certainly make my world a lot whole more interesting and wonderful!

Love This Photo: self portrait

Posted by: kimthanh

This picture was taken just before Michael and I were to head back home to Chico and the 8 hr drive.

I love these kinds of pictures, impromptru and just plain fun.

We always have fun with Dustin and Cara whenever we get together. They are just interesting, caring, funny and creative folks we call close friends.

So, to capture a moment in time is a splendid thing in life.

Portland or bust!

The One and Only Voodoo Donuts: photo by kim

Posted by: kimthanh

When Michael and I went to Portland for the first time, we had been told about The infamous Voodoo Donuts. We had been told in detail about all of their varied topped and shaped donuts. Sounded like somewhere I needed to see for myself. But that trip didn't allow for a visit there.

But this second trip, we did make it! Not that we really were hungry for one, after the amazing Orange Tofu dinner we had at John and Katies, just hours before. But since it was a place to at least experience, those new to Portland, we decided to venture on downtown and enjoy ourselves a bit of Portland history.

The picture says it all that we enjoyed ourselves. They even had vegan donuts. Go figure...

I won't take the fun out of experiencing the Voodoo Donuts, so I will just end here.

But when in Portland, take a visit to the Voodoo Donuts, and go at night. It just seems to add to the overall experience, as well as the lines that will be out the door and down the block.

Scattered Brain

Do you ever feel like you live in another world, outside of your own head?

Getting older is causing me to be a slower thinker, forgetful, difficult remembering little and big things and details of stories, and realizing it will only get worse from here on out.

I'm not bitter, I'm just saying... :-)

Michael and I have had some great laughs of late, as we have both tried to recount a situation we were both in and realized we had no idea where, when or with whom. It was pretty hilarious. We decided the older we get the better off we will be because neither of us will remember the same detail of the story nor will even be talking about the same story when mentioned to others. Meaning he may be talking about chicken which he ate with our friend, Don and I will be thinking about chicken that we had in New York. So, we determined we will not be like many older couples, or even young couples, who interject or argue about the details of the story being told. We will just be so agreeable and but with a different story in each of our minds.

Getting older with Michael will be fun for sure!

We have both been scattered brain as of late due to much going on in our lives and thinking of our future.

It's enough to make one almost lose ones' mind, really.

I kind of feel like the kid of Johnny Depps' Willie Wonka when he would say, "MUMBLER! I can't understand a word you're staying, heh!"

No one will be able to understand me as I get older... Oh my!

Testing to See if this works...video by kim

So, on our second trip to Portland, Oregon we had a blast as usual.
I forget to use the videoing on our digital camera but couldn't miss Hans having a good time with Dusty.

So here it goes...hope it works

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