Oh my, she's saying swear words

Today has been very trying. I'm just not sure what my heart is feeling nor how to truly express it in all of its fullness. The mind wanders to and fro wondering what to think next. The heart is heavy and unwanting of it's present condition. The eyes tearless though on the verge at any given moment. The thoughts swirling, twirling, whirling round about with no where to really land. Life feels like a tumbleweed. Rough around the edges, spiked in all directions, weightless, and easily thrown from here to there to who knows where. The lone warrior in a mass of desert land. I was able to swear out loud, in writing, in my mind, in my heart and way deep down where it echoes in silence. Sometimes one needs a good swearing session. Like a good cry. I swore to no end using words that I detest yet gleemed at the sound of their every syllable. It felt good. Like jumping into Lake Tahoe in May. Refreshing. What the F***! What the H***! What a Sh**** crying shame! Why is it when these words are said in a foreign tongue, they just don't sound so harsh nor like swear words? I will admit, Sh** is my favorite and only swear word used when we're about to hit the car in front of us, or when a loud and unsuspecting sound shakes the warm liquid from my bladder. H*** really doesn't seem very offensive to me, but then maybe it makes those religious ones feel closer to that destination than they are desiring. F*** is definitely a crappy word and I only use it in extreme measures - when I've had a trying day and I don't know what other words fit to describe it. To H*** with today. There is always tomorrow. Oh, Crap!